senior year. you are mine.

+15 years ago, I was convinced I knew what I wanted to do with my life (ice skater. dentist. actress. they all seemed like good options).
+Three months ago I began training for a summer that I was nervous, unsure, and freaked out about.
+Two and a half weeks ago I departed from the 21 people who knew me best this summer. I said goodbye to many of my best friends. I left that day with a new found confidence I did not enter the summer with.
+A week ago I finally moved into a house of my own with katherine harrison and lisa coward.
+This minute, I am not as convinced as I was 15 years ago about what I want to do with my life.
+Tomorrow I begin first day of my senior year of college.

Basically, I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life. But new experiences shape me. New (and old) friends continue to inspire me. And my senior year ain't got nothin' that I can't take on. Even if I don't know what's going to happen after this year.

On a side note, here is a warning to all toaster oven users:
Do not put a piece of bread too big in a small sized oven. It WILL catch on fire. I repeat..it will catch on fire.

Too early

sometimes there are moments in life where a week of my life feels like it lasted months. in approximately an hour and forty minutes my team of twenty two new and old friends are going to depart and officially depart and begin a summer of working camp. it's strange to be in the "camp bubble" all summer and to return to the "real world" after. it kind of freaks me out to think about. but I know the memories and experiences I will gain will be far more rewarding then I can even think right now.

I'm getting better at being more confrontational!

Also, I want to learn to salsa dance.

???????????

When I was watching Oprah the other day (as I have done most every day since I have been home.. what can I say, Oprah knows things) she was talking to Simon Cowell, and they were talking about marriage and such, and how he is getting up in age. And she said something like, "Well that's okay 50 is the new 40 these days."

.......And this is where my question comes in. I don't understand this whole, "old" and "new" thing. For example, the other day I was told that the color coral is the new pink. But when did pink become old? And when pink was new, what color was old? And what if I don't want coral to be the new pink? Do I have any say, or is it a done deal?

Basically, I'm just confused. Is 50 really the new 40? And if so, does every age have a "new" age? I'm 21.. is 21 the new 16? Does that even make sense? Whoever makes these "rules" I want a part in it! I want to make wearing no make-up the new make up face! Unbrushed bed-head to be the new hair-dried straight lucious locks! For lunchtime I want sushi to be the new PB&J! Give me something!

(My apologies for the mass amounts of question marks in this post.)

today is sunday.

I've come to the conclusion today that I'm crazy. "Why are you crazy, Karin?" you may so curiously wonder. Or maybe you already think I'm crazy. Or maybe you think I'm crazy for thinking I'm crazy. Either way, there are lots of crazy people out there. And on the hypothetical crazy scale, I'm not sure where I'd rank, but I'm on there. I think my craziness (I know you are getting sick of that word) is because I'm so blind to things. I don't journal as much as I'd like, but I do occasionaly. Every time I write something new I read over all my old entries. And in every single entry a common theme weaves it's way in and out of them. I have a passion for kids, and helping them to grow in anyway. For music, to be better at the instruments I play. To be better read in the literature I collect on my shelf. And to simply love someone, and desire to be loved.

These passions get lost as I think so much about me. ME ME ME ME ME. And all the faults I see in myself. And that is why I'm kind of crazy. I have all these things I love, but I don't love them they way I want to because I bring myself down. DUMMMBBBBBBBB. I guess God works that way sometimes. Teaches you something over and over and over and over again until you finally open your eyes and see what he's been showing you about yourself.

On a different note, I'm reading The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery. This was my absolute favorite book in middle school, and I remember being so surprised by the ending. But I forgot the ending! So I'm reading it again, and seeing if I will love it still. I like when I forget surprise endings. I always wish I'd forget the twist in The Sixth Sense. But I still haven't. Probably because I always think about wanting to forget it so I will be surprised again.

Snapshot.

So, when I said in my last post that I feel invincible when speeding.. I no longer have that feeling as of today.

Dear Chattanooga Speed Camera enforcement,
I appreciate your concern in my driving 45 mph in a 35 mph zone. I find it cool that my buick got two snapshots printed on a piece of paper and sent to my house. Frankly though I don't really like the fact I have to pay for this fifty dollar ticket, and I would rather you not be so sneaky when snapping my photo. Also, next time, pick on someone who is going at a more reckless speed. Thank you.

ten driving thoughts.

Driving back today from Chattanooga to Asheville I realized some things. SUCH AS:

1) Being alone in my thoughts for four hours is kind of nice, and horribly annoying at the same time. Especially when your phone is dying, and you have no ipod because the ipod you have decides to break because all technology you come in contact with seems to want to gang up on you and hate you.

2)I hate Ryan Seacrest.

3) But his top forty countdown I like. Four hours of pop radio music didn't drive me as crazy as it probably should. Hearing "Bulletproof" three times in four hours was a very joyous occasion for me this morning.

4) I eat way too much McDonalds.

5) An iced coffee, AND a double shot starbucks drink did NOT give me the energy I needed. My eyes kept closing!! I'm not sure exactly what I realized from this except maybe to buy some sunglasses????? Because the sun in my eyes makes me sleepy???

6) Honking and holding your breath when going through a tunnel isn't as fun when you are the only one in the car.

7) I feel invincible when I speed.

8) I am impulsive. In way too many areas of my life. THINK THINGS THROUGH KARIN!! COME ON!!!

9) Where is college going? And how am I a senior already?

10) I'd like to attempt at owning fish again. And have one last more then a month. They always die without having lived the full life they deserve. Technology and fish... what is it you have against me?

Confession #2

I like to eat soggy cereal.

Sure, the word soggy is gross. And soggy food is usually gross.

But, for some reason, a bowl of soggy raisin bran is extremely tasty to my buds.