nostalgia

nostalgia: a wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition.

certain music always gives me that nostalgic feeling. The Killers take me back to high school. Weezer ignites those middle school memories. And for elementary school my homeschooled musical selection basically revolved around Twila Paris or Amy Grant.

It is so easy to become nostalgic of wonderful memories and dear times. But I find that nostalgia makes me sad. Its a yearning for the past. In The Great Gatsby Fitzgerald says, “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past" (which is also on his tombstone). He so often wrote about characters that dealt with the past haunting their present circumstances.

I often let my past define me, like Fitzgerald's characters. I think about what in my past has made me who I am today. While I believe my past has shaped me.. it's beautiful to realize that through Christ I have no need let my past failures define me. And though there will always be a current to battle, I know there will be calm waters eventually.

basically, nostalgia is a way weird feeling. like deja vu. but deja vu is probably weirder.

A day in the life of a college grad with no job!

it was a sweltering hot summer day. driving around in a car with no air conditioning was brutal. the windows offered no relief. the wind felt absent-- far far away. but the heat was not to stop my mission: to drive out to Joann Fabrics and get my fabric to make an apron. I pulled into Joann's sweating as if I just ran a 5k in the desert wearing a jumpsuit. I was a hot mess. I eyed the fabric I wanted, my eyes hungry seeing all the different patterns and colors. The measurements were cut. The ladies working there were sweat-less, comfortable in their khaki pants and long sleeve shirts. I was a monster. Greedy for fabric. Hot from the sun. Who was I?! I left the building as soon as I swiped my debit card. The drive back was even hotter. But my mission was completed. I got my fabric-- I was in the clear to make an apron.

Later that night I began. I assume I know how to do everything when it comes to sewing an apron. "I've done this before! I'm golden" I thought to myself with arrogance. And in bustle I cut the first piece of the apron out of the un-ironed fabric I laid on the ground...and as I held up and looked at the piece I cut... I realized...
it was completely wrong. I cut it terribly. The fabric was ruined. I didn't swear. I didn't yell. I simply laid down my head on the table. And it was at that moment my dear friend came over, expert sewer she is, and reassured me all was well. My mistake was not a nightmare.

From this adventure I learned a few things:
1) Air conditioning is a blessing. If you have it-- bask in it. Love on it. Respect it.
2)There are only certain khaki pants that are flattering on women. Khaki pants suck most of the time. Sorry, Joann Fabrics employees.
3) Always double check when cutting fabric. There IS a possibility you will mess up.
4) Dear friends are gems. Be thankful for a helping hand or a laugh together.