Sunday, May 16, 2010

today is sunday.

I've come to the conclusion today that I'm crazy. "Why are you crazy, Karin?" you may so curiously wonder. Or maybe you already think I'm crazy. Or maybe you think I'm crazy for thinking I'm crazy. Either way, there are lots of crazy people out there. And on the hypothetical crazy scale, I'm not sure where I'd rank, but I'm on there. I think my craziness (I know you are getting sick of that word) is because I'm so blind to things. I don't journal as much as I'd like, but I do occasionaly. Every time I write something new I read over all my old entries. And in every single entry a common theme weaves it's way in and out of them. I have a passion for kids, and helping them to grow in anyway. For music, to be better at the instruments I play. To be better read in the literature I collect on my shelf. And to simply love someone, and desire to be loved.

These passions get lost as I think so much about me. ME ME ME ME ME. And all the faults I see in myself. And that is why I'm kind of crazy. I have all these things I love, but I don't love them they way I want to because I bring myself down. DUMMMBBBBBBBB. I guess God works that way sometimes. Teaches you something over and over and over and over again until you finally open your eyes and see what he's been showing you about yourself.

On a different note, I'm reading The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery. This was my absolute favorite book in middle school, and I remember being so surprised by the ending. But I forgot the ending! So I'm reading it again, and seeing if I will love it still. I like when I forget surprise endings. I always wish I'd forget the twist in The Sixth Sense. But I still haven't. Probably because I always think about wanting to forget it so I will be surprised again.

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