Patten, you rascal.

SCENARIO:
Starbucks.
Five year old Patten has to go pee.
He starts to pull down his pants.

Me: Patten are you wearing underwear?

Patten: No.

Ten year old Carter: Patten never wears underwear anymore.

Me:Anymore? Didn't he just learn to wear underwear like a year ago?

Patten tries to go pee in the bush.

Me: Patten, the bathroom is this way.

Leads him to the handicap family restroom stall.

Patten: this isn't a boys stall.

Me: I know. It's a handicap stall.

Patten: What's handicap mean?

Me: Like, hurt.

Patten: I'm not hurt.

Me: I know

Patten: I can't go pee in here.

Me: Yes you can. handicap.. means.. boy too.

Patten: Oh.

He goes in to pee. I laugh outside the door.

Patten: Why are you laughing?

Me: ....There was a funny bug....

Barges out of stall.

Patten: WHERE??????

Me: I killed it.

Patten: WHY?????

Me: Because it was handicap.

Patten: Whats handicap mean?



.:Kids make life interesting:.